So Valentines Day is coming up pretty quickly. I just realized that yesterday when I was walking through Michael's with my mom. I was planning on just happily walking into the store to buy some paint and canvases, but no. Instead, I trotted through the doors, and was visually berated by racks upon racks of glittery pink and red hearts and cards, silently screaming at me that I should be ashamed of myself because my life doesn't look like a mushy romantic chick flick. Instead, my life is mostly me tripping awkwardly over my own ankles, being chased not by love, but by its evil twin; sudden attachment to anything that talks to you.
I am, in fact, single. At the moment, I am okay with this. However, I know on Valentines Day which is in just over a week, I'll be like "well shit, I have nobody to fuck and eat chocolate with." This is one of the issues with being a single lady, and I am a single lady. My hands are not up, though. They're typing this fucking blog post when I really should be outside meeting people so I can have somebody to have dirty sex with next friday. But for now, my future fuckbuddy has yet to put a ring on it.
It wasn't always like this.
I remember the first Valentines Day that I'd ever experienced while crushing on a dude. I was in 2nd grade, and I really, really liked this guy. I'm not going to name names. We shall refer to him as Fenris.
So I remember my crush on Fenris being basically the biggest crush I'd ever developed. For reference as to how much I loved this kid, I carved his name into the side of my mom's car with a rock. I think that was not only my first huge crush, but my first time committing vandalism. His name is still there on my mom's car to this day.
It had been months since I'd fallen in love with him, and then suddenly, it was Valentines Day. As most schools do, we did that thing where everybody was required to give everybody else a Valentines Day card or candy. So, in my logical 7 year old mind, Fenris was obviously in love with me too, and we were gonna get married and have ten babies and fuck a lot. He clearly just didn't realize it yet. But Valentines Day would change all that.
I was thoroughly convinced that on Valentines Day, Fenris would suddenly realize that his love for me was the most beautiful and prevalent emotion that he'd ever felt, and he would confess his undying affection for me when we were handing out our cards. He also, according to my assumptions, would give me a home-made, frilly, glittery, personal Valentines Day card. Obviously.
Long story short, it didn't end up like that. I got one of those mass produced plastic holographic cards that has some sort of pun like "You're HEART not to love!" This did not discourage me though. I didn't end up getting over my crush on him until the beginning of 3rd grade.
I have never had a decent Valentines Day. Ever.
Hella Cute
Hella Fine
Be my Hella Valentine?
~That poem was written by Alix
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