So I'm negative

So I've been talking with my therapist lately. She's been telling me that I'm too negative. Well, lemme tell you something.
.
.
You're damn right I'm too negative. That's just me.

First off- I absolutely hate people. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about positive vibes and meditation and having good friends and all that pussy shit, but I just genuinely hate people, aside from everything else. I can't stand large groups. Everybody smells like shit. People don't know how to control their damn volume. Hasn't anybody heard the term "inside voices?" Hasn't anybody heard the term deodorant?! I hate the smell of other people. Even if it's not particularly bad- it just disgusts me.

Hating things just comes naturally to me. If I see something, the first thing I do is try to find out the positive aspects of said thing. However, the problem with that is, finding good things is very difficult for me. If you're my friend, consider yourself a wizard, because it's seriously some sort of black magic that takes place when my brain decides to let me like things. I'm gonna list some things that I like:

-black

-music, specifically grunge, nu metal, progressive death metal, and psychedelic rock

-my like 5 friends

-rain

-trees

-Westport Beach (at any time other than summer, by myself)

-my piano

-sleeping

-carbs

And that's pretty much it. Other than that, I suppose I can find joy in things, but eventually it'll start majorly pissing me off and I'll start to hate it until further notice.

I do like things, I swear. I'm just not good at showing it. I think sometimes it might be somewhat difficult to be able to tell whether or not I like you. Wanna know how I like you? Look- if I talk to you, I like you. It's as simple as that. I don't talk to people who I don't think are worth my time. Sometimes I appear shy in public, but anybody who really knows me knows that on the inside, I'm really just like:

I believe this ego is part of being a negative person at heart. Contrary to your average teenager's view of their own self as a fat ugly monster that nobody will ever love even if, in reality, they're freaking gorgeous, I'm the opposite. I know my own level of intelligence, and if I believe somebody is too severely below that level (unfortunately, meaning about 3/4ths of my generation) they're simply not worth my time. If you think the sun is a sun and not a star or something else of that degree of idiocy, I refuse to look further into your being and you've lost your chance to prove yourself to me as an adequate human being, and I will kindly ask you to stop hogging my oxygen. 

So this has been a rather egotistical post. You know what? Good. I'm feeling bitchy today. Fuck all y'all, I'm a classy lady. Good day.

Achieving natural beauty

So, as a teenage girl in this day and age, I know first hand how much pressure there is on girls to be perfect. However, what I think people need to understand is that being fake is not attractive. Starving yourself, putting on tons of makeup, and all that nasty jazz, just lowers self esteem and makes you seem desperate. Today, I'll be giving you a tutorial on how to edit your pictures on a minimal scale, just to add some natural glamour and pizzaz to your appearance. Remember, start with a picture of you in a normal state. We're going for natural, but beautiful.

I'm going to start with this picture of me that I took a little while back.

 As you can see in this picture, I'm not wearing much makeup. My hair isn't quite done. I obviously am not the thinnest person ever. But that's the point- we're just enhancing those natural qualities!

So here in this next picture, I added a teensy bit of light pink blush to my cheeks for a sweet, colored look.

Then, I remembered that, naturally, I blush very easily. So, I thought it only necessary to add a tiny bit more blush.

Just enough blush to make it barely noticeable. We're going for natural.

Now, here's where I took the reshaping tool on my computer and slimmed down my jawline a little bit. Naturally, I have a very defined jawline, and we're just making it a little more feminine. Not too small, just perfect!

There we go! What a beautiful face shape we have here. And that's all we need to do for the shape of the face; natural beauty at its finest.

Now, I zoomed in on the middle of my face, just to re-shape some features, such as my nose. Here, you can see I just went over the outline of my nose to slim it down.

Gotta make the nose relatively the same shape all the way through, in a straight line; nobody with natural beauty has those perfect curves and edges on their nose. See? You can barely tell the photo's been edited, yet it's already ten times better.

So here's where I started playing with the eyes a bit. I added some black eyeshadow, to give my eyes a more deep-set and dreamy look. I then added a bit of eyeliner, just to bring out the natural color of my eyes.

Speaking of the natural color of my eyes, I actually have a rare genetic mutation called Heterochromia. This means that my eyes have two different colors in them; I personally have grayish blue on the outer parts of my eye, and then a band of amber near my pupil. I don't want to keep this, because as it's a very rare mutation, and it I were to keep those two different colors, people might think this picture is photoshopped. Therefor, I went ahead and made my eyes a more believable green color through and through. I then added some eyebrows. I purposefully made them rather thick, because we're going for a natural look, and I naturally have very thick eyebrows.

Now just look at that! Can you even tell I added a few things?

Now here, I added a very light, natural pink tint to my lips. Nothing too bold or obvious.

Then I added a complimenting lip liner, to bring out the true, defined shape of my lips.

As a white ass bitch, I also have very thin lips, so I plumped them up a bit, making sure to stick to the theme of being natural.

Almost done!

All I did here was slim down my shoulders to make myself look a bit smaller....and we're done!!!

*Note:
This post is to make a point. All this photoshopped shit in the media advertising a fake ideal of beauty is bullshit. You're fucking gorgeous no matter what you do with your face and body. Go outside wearing no makeup. Go outside wearing shit tons of glittery, colorful eyeshadow. Do whatever makes you happy. Do not, under any circumstances, live to please other people; live to please yourself, despite anything popular and "normal." Screw that shit. You're fucking awesome.

SO EXCITED OMFGFPHIQRBFGIOQR376EFGUOEH

HEY
YOU
PERSON
DO YOU SEE THIS FACE
THIS FACE RIGHT HERE

THAT FACE
WHICH HAPPENS TO BELONG TO ME
IS GONNA BE UP HERE IN LIKE TWO MONTHS

SO EXCITED
SO VERY EXCITED

IMAGINE IT

Okay. Let me explain.

As I'm sure is relatively well known, I am a pretty dedicated musician. I've been playing piano since I was about six and I also play a succession of other instruments, although piano is my main bitch. Recently, I've been getting over my crippling, vomit-inducing fear of singing in front of any other organism with the ability to hear sounds. So far, it's been going pretty well, and apparently I have a pretty decent voice. So, around a month ago, I heard about this cool little thing called Music Garage. It actually sounded kinda lame at first, because I only heard the radio ad for it. However, my dad was all like OMFG YOU GOTTA GO AND DO THAT SHIT, so I went and did that shit.

After we got home, my dad went and emailed the main dude at Music Garage. I didn't really do anything, because I wasn't that into it. I mean, I had no idea what it was anyway, so naturally, I was not able to give a damn. My dad soon told me that I'd be having an audition for Music Garage the following thursday. At first, I was kinda not very excited. My logic was that it would've been like an audition to be in a classical piano recital; those are the only kinds of auditions I'd ever been to. I thought I was gonna have to sit down at the piano and play them something all by myself while there were nasty judges, you know, judging me.

It was not like that at all.

The Music Garage was basically just a studio. The only real lights were colorful spot lights facing a little stage. The walls, floors, and ceilings were all black, there were posters all over the walls, and all that nice stuff. There was nothing professional about it. It was AWESOME. 

For the audition, all the other kids were in the back of the room eating pizza and casually talking. The only people who were "judging" were the directors of the thing. One of them was this big dude who was just standing there jamming, and the other was this skinny tall dude with really long hair who was also standing there just kinda headbanging. I had to play keyboards and sing, with a band. I guess I did pretty well, because I got chosen to be in the core band.

Essentially, shit tons of people auditioned, just to be in normal Music Garage. It was also pretty much an audition to be in the core band for Mountain Town Music. The core band is this thing that Mountain Town Music was paying Music Garage to organize. Basically, they wanted a band that could perform all around the Park City/Salt Lake City area. They wanted really good rock band, all teens, of four or five people; and they're paying a thousand dollars per kid in the band. I GOT CHOSEN TO BE THE LEAD VOCALIST AND KEYBOARD PERSON. I NOW HAVE A NET WORTH OF AT LEAST ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. 

This, my friends, is also technically a scholarship. To be in regular Music Garage, if you make it in, you still have to pay a shit ton of money. But, because I'm in the core band, I'm being paid for. And I get to be in a badass band. I may be the only girl in the band, but I'm super good friends with all the other dudes in it, so I can't wait.

We've already been scheduled to play at like twelve different concerts and venues over the summer, one of them being Deer Valley Ski Resort. So, if you ever feel the need to go to one of their free concerts over the summer, I'm gonna be there, and I encourage you to throw food at us while we're playing. That's always been a dream of mine.

April polls

Happy May!

Ah, once again we have seen another month pass. I, personally, think April is one of my least favorite months. It's like, the weather is still not at all consistent here in Park City; sometimes it's seventy degrees out with 2% humidity, and then when you wake up the next morning there's icicles hanging from your nostrils and a foot of snow is waiting outside for you to angrily stare at from your window. At least we had this month's poll to keep our spirits up (or at least above the point at which somebody commits mass homicide).

In regards to the majority, I'm rather pleased. However, I just want to make sure people took the following into consideration when they decided the most desirable choice was to where a hideous sweater forever: you have to wear it when you shower, when you have sex, when you go to the club, when you get married, when you go swimming, when you get married, when you go in for a job interview, when you're taking nudes for your significant other, at your high school and college graduation, and at your funeral. You can never take it off. EVER.

Now, I find it rather thought-provoking that the next most popular choice was "to be fisted." I should've put down "anally, without lube." Like, seriously? You would rather be violently butt punched, therefor impairing your walking and shitting abilities for weeks, than eat a nasty old fish? Huh. Interesting.

To the five people who chose "chew glass," do you know how fucking bad that would hurt? Like, you gotta chew that shit. You'd most likely require some degree of surgery to replace your teeth and remove the shards of glass from your flesh and tongue. 

One person chose to constantly pee their pants; this is the one I would've chosen. I mean, you could just wear a diaper all the time and only have the sexy times with individuals with a pee fetish. 

One psychopath chose to eat a live baby. Hmmm.