Core testing? Yeah, f*ck that

As you all know, April will be ending in 3 days. As I'm assuming most of you know, May comes after April. This means that we have about a month left of school. Now, that in itself is both awesome and stressful. It's absolutely great, for obvious reasons. However, it's also kinda shitty because that means I'll have to do shit with my life over the summer. This consists of several things I don't want to do. Getting out of the house to hang out with people so my parents don't physically pick me up by my shirt collar and throw me out of the house to get some fresh air is one of those things. Going outside in hot weather is another one of those things. Staying inside in hot weather is yet another one of those things. Shaving my legs is definitely one of those things.
I hate shaving my legs. I live in a townhouse complex, so we share hot water with like 3 other families. This means I only have about 10 minutes of hot water per shower. I don't have fuckin' time to shave my legs.

One thing I'm particularly dreading is the looming shadow of our last barration of testing in every single class. First off, I'm not the best student ever. My problem is that I don't see the point of going through the whole education system after about 7th grade. When you hit 8th grade, school entirely drops the concept of "learning" and becomes strictly a means of forcing unnecessary discipline upon hormonal, rebellious teenagers. I, personally, think that's a bunch of bullshit.

Not only are we getting stupid amounts of discipline, but it's stressful as fuck too. I mean, I know I'm getting rant-ish, but why do I need to learn about quadratic equations and the structure of a prokaryotic cell, be judged on my knowledge of such bullshit, and then have my life quality determined on how well I can recite said bullshit?

Can you tell that I'm pissed?

Anyway, as for the core tests; I'm gonna fucking fail those. What really sucks ass about that is how much I study for these damn tests. And yet, no matter how much I cram, the geography test is still like "what species of carnivorous, iron-clad martian is located exactly 6,903 meters below the earth's surface?" and the math test is like "count the circumference of every single one of your arm hairs, then with the average of this number, teach a hermit crab how to do the hokey-pokey."

I don't even really know what this post is about anymore, so I'm just gonna rant about stuff that really butters my moustache.

When my hair is all tangled when I get out of the shower. That butters my moustache.

When my sock starts coming off my foot when I'm wearing shoes. That sure does butter my moustache.

When my unibrow starts growing back after I attempt to take care of it. That really butters my moustache.

When my pot dealer laces my weed with street grade cocaine and meth amphetamines. That damn well butters my moustache.

When I get butter in my moustache. That butters my moustache.

I don't know what this post is about anymore...yay!

Day of Silence: success!

We fuckin' did it.

Me, Bella, Sky, and Emi

(all their blogs are on the "my favorite blogs" page)

Inconsistency

As most of you know, I began this blog involuntarily. This blog is an ongoing assignment that began last September for my honors english class. Every week, we're assigned a decent-sized blog post containing a photo, a link, and lots and lots of words pertaining to said photo and link. Now, I do this happily. So happily, in fact, that I began long ago to post on this blog without even being assigned to do so. I guess that's what happens when your school gives you a nice laptop but all the cool websites are blocked; you turn into a work dork and convince yourself that you're having fun, when you're really just subconsciously craving massive quantities of gay fanfiction on tumblr.

Some of these un-assigned posts are actually pretty damn good, examples being my post about periods (which is one of my most popular posts, you sick fucks), and this post about my current life as a band geek. My personal criteria for a "good" post, is the following:

-The post mustn't contain any loads of crap, "loads of crap" being random bullshit paragraphs that I just tend to throw in there during fits of hyperactive madness.

-The post must have at least two paragraphs between pictures. Basically, there must be more words than pictures. I mean, this isn't preschool anymore, this is high school. I know, I'm as depressed about it as you are.

-There must be at least one or two of my own original illustrations. I just feel really accomplished when I illustrate a post. It creates the illusion that I have my shit together.

-The post must be humorous. This blog is technically a creativity blog, but let's be real here; the only reason anybody reads this crap is because I use words like "penis," "fuck," and "cuntnugget" more frequently than I should. Do not follow in my footsteps on the matter. South Park made a whole song about why swearing is bad. Seriously, look up "It's easy, Mkay."

As I was saying, I try my best to write "good" posts as much as possible. However, with my being easily excited and distracted, I write a lot of short cruddy posts too. Like, I have a whole post that's just basically just pictures of Bolbi from Jimmy Neutron. One of my most popular posts of all time is literally no words, just two really creepy illustrations. All you people seem to really like all my posts, crappy or not.

All you people, of course, excluding my english teacher.

TO SAID ENGLISH TEACHER, MY POSTS ARE "INCONSISTENT." 

Apparently, dearest Mr. Parker believes that my posts are inconsistent in regards to quality. I am apparently nut-kicking (that was my own language used right there) my readers outs of decent posts half the time because of the sheer frequency of my "cruddy" posts. Well, mister "I grade all your assignments and I decide your very fate with the possibility that I could force you to fail my class and remediate it over the summer therefor making you unappealing to colleges and ruining your chances of ever getting a decent job in order to support yourself even with the most basic essentials such as 2-ply toilet paper," I will have you know, I am a top-notch example of a teenager with ADD. This assures that I make a bunch of worthless posts, but SO HELP ME, they are still funny. My readers are predominantly other teenagers, and we all have damn short attention spans. Hell, I bet half my viewers aren't even reading this sentence because they only come here to look at the funny pictures which, in my defense, take me a long arse time to complete.

So, english teacher. I encourage you to appreciate all my posts, even the ones I do not submit as assignments, even the ones that are just slightly entertaining screenshots of cartoon characters from the 2000's.

Everyone else, I still hate you for choosing "embarrassing moments" as my next post topic. Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done. Butt faces.

Nope-ful situations

I use the word "nope" quite often. Not just as a way to casually reject something. I use it in the internet fashion, and by that, I mean in situations where I just can't. Those situations where you just look at what's happening, frown, spin around 180 degrees, throw your hands up, and go NOPE.

Here are a few examples:

NOPE-FUL SITUATION #1: fucktons of schoolwork

NOPE-FUL SITUATION #2: exercise 

NOPE-FUL SITUATION #3: EATING HEALTHY FOODS

Courtney.exe has crashed. Restart program?

I'm done.
So is everybody else.
Can we just, like, stahp?

For real, it is now March. We've been in school since the middle of August. I don't know about you, but I've just recently hit a wall. A wall of I don't give a fuck. This happens every year. What will happen, is the school year will start. I'll be happy as a mexican jumping bean on a pogo stick in a bouncy house. Then, as the year goes on, the shittiness will slowly but surely intensify. I'll get to a point where I'm just like, "Nope. Fuck ALL the things. I'm gonna flop into bed and watch youtube and do nothing because school is futile." Then I'll walk into school in my pajamas with my hair looking like an afro got hit by a truck. I officially become the least showered, most sarcastic rebel ever. I give so many fucks about not giving fucks, I forget to not give fucks and I start to give fucks about giving fucks. Or somethin'.

However, later in the year, I get to a point where nothing even bothers me anymore. I have nothing to fight. I can't even complain about school. I am no longer a rebel in that I think I don't need school. I just develop this attitude that's like, "Can we just stop? I've pretended to learn everything that I need to succeed in life. If you don't mind, I'll take my high school degree, show it to a bunch of colleges, and then probably burn it in the fiery pits of hell."

I'm beginning to count down the weeks until school ends, even though it's only March. There's 14, including spring break. For now, I'm just going to hide under my blankets and hibernate until summer. Then I'm just going to hibernate more. I mean, that's pretty much the only thing I do voluntarily besides eat and draw and play music.

I'm done with school.
I'm ready for it to be summer.

What happens when I'm bored?

Sometimes I draw on my hands when I'm bored, and I make beauteous art.

But yesterday, I decided to go on google and type in beginnings of sentences that could be interpreted as inappropriate. This is what I got as results.

I had to google what a "gumiho" is. Apparently "my girlfriend is a gumiho" is some weird ass Korean movie....and a gumiho is a nine-tailed fox that lives a thousand years or some shit.

Bitch, I'm damn sure that's a pokémon.

I also draw a lot of derpy shit when I'm bored. 

Moral of the story: I need a life

How to be like me

STEP 1: ONLY WEAR LIKE 3 PIECES OF CLOTHING AND NOTHING ELSE EVER

STEP 2: DRAW/PAINT MORBID, MILDLY TRAUMATIZING IMAGES THAT WOULD GET ANY NORMAL PERSON SENT TO A PSYCHIATRIC UNIT

STEP 3: BE THE WHITEST SHADE THAT HUMAN SKIN COULD POSSIBLY BE WITHOUT BEING CLASSIFIED AS HAVING ALBINISM

STEP 4: HAVE GENETICALLY MUTATED IRISES

STEP 5: HAVE A RELATIVELY ATTRACTIVE SMILE, BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DISPLAY SAID SMILE; ONLY MAKE REALLY ABNORMAL AND TERRIFYING FACIAL EXPRESSIONS NO MATTER THE SITUATION BECAUSE WHO NEEDS FRIENDS, NOT YOU MOTHERFUCKER

"Hmmm, this girl seems pleasant and good-looking"

"OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK"

STEP 6: LOVE YOUR COLLECTION OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS MORE THAN YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY

STEP 7: LISTEN EXCLUSIVELY TO NU METAL, GRUNGE, DEATH METAL, BLACK METAL, AND...........PSYCHEDELIC ROCK FOR SOME REASON

"They look dirty."

"Aaaaand, nightmares"

"Is that a homeless man?

"That guy seems like the kind of person who rapes and eats puppies"

"Well that sure doesn't look very safe"

"YAY RAINBOWS OMG!"