My un-skills

I have many of what I like to call un-skills.

Un-skill (noun)- the opposite of a skill. A particular activity that an individual is particularly horrible at. (ex.) An un-skill that I possess is dancing; when I attempt to do so, I resemble like a constipated gorilla having a seizure. 

Now that we have the definition of this term, I'd like to share with you some of my un-skills.

DANCING.
As depicted in the picture above. Not much else to say. If you want to preserve your eyesight, never watch me dance. Ever. 

SYMPATHY.
Not to be confused with empathy, which is just understanding what others feel. I'm talking about making people feel better by pitying them. I'll know what you're feeling, but I have this logic that if I give you an awkward bro-hug and offer to buy you a bag of chips, everything will suddenly get better. If you want somebody to understand your feels and then say the right things to stop making you feel those feels, I'm the wrong person to hang out with. If chips and netflix make you feel better, we should be friends.

ROMANCE.
I can't even tell you how bad I am at showing any type of lovey-dovey affection. I can't be cutesie-ish with any kind of significant other that I have. I'm the type of girlfriend that punches you in the arm and demands piggy back rides and probably bites you a lot and calls you a little bitch. I mean, that's how I say I love you. With force.

DRIVING.
I don't have a permit or a license. Rightfully so. I don't want one, because I know if I had one, I would cause some sort of road-rage induced apocalypse because I can't tell the difference between the break pedal and the gas pedal and turning a car even in an empty parking lot results in a requirement for getting the car checked out to make sure I didn't horribly fuck anything up.

WAKING UP.
I can't even.
I, just...
I shouldn't even have to explain this.

PAYING ATTENTION
A combination of ADD, boredom, not at all being interested in anything besides certain bands/types of badass science that will provide me with the ability to be a magician, and mild narcolepsy assures that I fall asleep when doing anything. ANYTHING.