Thursday, March 13, 2014

Oh goodie, illness!

I am rather ill on this fine March day. And, by "rather ill," I mean "You know, I should probably go to a doctor. I'm horrifically sick. This isn't even sickness, this is Satan's own attempt at violently rearranging my vital organs. I can't feel my brain. Mommy?"
That may or may not be a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. I have some sort of stomach virus shit going on and it is not pleasant, unless you are an emetophiliac. First of all, I hate puke. I hate it. If somebody even mentions that they feel kinda nauseous in front of me, I get the actual fuck out of there. I can't even stand it when my dog pukes, even though she enthusiastically fucking eats it afterwards as if it's some kind of gift from the god of her own innards. So, vomiting uncontrollably for 24 hours is seriously my nightmare. I'm pretty much all out of puke at this point. That kinda sounds like a good thing, but let me share with you the downsides. My whole body aches, I'm shaking like a hairless cat stuffed into a refrigerator, I feel constant urges to brush my teeth, I'm afraid to use my own toilet, and I'm afraid to eat even a god damn salteen cracker because of the lingering possibility that it could bring another onset of vomitapocalypse.

This all started late yesterday morning. I was in english class, and very suddenly, I went from feeling perfectly healthy to having a raging x-caliber headache in about 4 seconds. Now, this usually isn't a problem. It didn't exactly feel like a migraine, so I figured it was just a random headache and that it would pass within the hour. With this logic, I went to my next class (geography) without a problem besides this pain in my skull. This was a mistake on my own part. 
In geography, we were having a counselor come in and give us a 90 minute lecture about registration for next year. This was basically an hour and a half of bullshit. About halfway through this lecture, my headache morphed into a disgusting, throbbing migraine and nausea. I didn't feel comfortable interrupting her though, because she was really into her groove of bullshit and I didn't want to share out loud with the entire class that I needed to throw up. So, I waited for her to make us go on some registration website to excuse myself from the class. I packed up my shit and went to the nurse's office. Hell ensued.

Long story short-ish; I texted my dad to pick me up, he immediately responded saying he was on his way, I spent an hour and a half in the nurse's office vomiting my guts out, the office lady kicked me out and sent me back to class, half an hour later my dad finally showed up and blamed his 2 hour late-ness on a business call and told me I needed to calm the fuck down.

But now, over 24 hours later, I've stopped puking, so now I'm like:
I still feel like shit, but as long as there's nothing being forced out of my esophagus, I'm happy.

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