Feels: an explanation

I've been feeling some pretty major feels lately. I use the term "feeling feels" instead of "depression" because I'm trying to explain what I'm feeling, I'm not just putting it out there that I'm sad a lot.

WHAT I'M NOT LIKE:

 I don't have this problem at all. I've dyed my hair blue like 4 times. 

I don't even give a fuck about this anymore...

My phone:

I'm more like this:

See, this is what kinda sucks. What a whole lot of people don't understand is that actual major depression is a disease, not a period in one's life when bad shit is happening and they're sad. Depression is a chemical deficiency in the brain, or a lack of those chemicals that make you happy. They control the reward system, and the serotonin receptors in the brain are getting dangerously low amounts of the "happy chemical." This is an actual disease and nine times out of ten, it just appears for no justifiable reason. I've been consciously dealing with depression since 2nd grade, when absolutely nothing bad was happening. In fact, the most traumatizing part of my life so far didn't happen until 5 years later.

Another thing: I don't have any enormous problems in my life that aren't caused by depression. I don't want people to think that I don't appreciate everything in my life.

I have a pretty badass mom.

I have a pretty epic face-battling warrior partner.

 I have a pretty badass cat.

I have some super badass friends.

I also make this happy derp face a lot. 

Honestly, my life is pretty okay. I just thought I'd share this with people because I want people to know that I'm not always super normal but I do my best to be positive. I love you. Seriously. Come let me lick you. It will cure me.