It's also my birthday.
My mom woke me up in a very special fashion this morning. I don't have an alarm clock, so she always just comes into my room at 6 a.m. and says "Hey Courtney get the fuck up," and it's all good. However, this morning, my mom decided to be rather celebratory.
So she came into my room, ran over to my bed, and jumped on top of me, screaming "IT'S YOUR BIRRTTHHDAAAYYYY GET UP BITCH YOU'RE A YEAR OLDER!!" and I must say, it was a pretty effective way of waking me up. But, then she started going a bit too far.
Our conversation went like this:
Mom: *jumps on top of me and hugs me* IT'S YOUR BIRRTTHHHDDAAYY!!!
Me: *still lying down with my eyes closed* merrrr.....I know....yay......
Mom: GET THE FUCK UP, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!
Me: *starts waking up kinda* ergghh.....yay.....
Mom: *sits up on my bed* This is the day I BIRTHED you!
Me: I- just- mom.....eww....
Mom: *starts making birthing motions with her hands and legs* I BIRTHED you! Out of my VAGINA!
Me: MOM IT IS TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR THIS
Mom: *continues making birthing motions* I BIRTHED YOU. WITH MY UTERUS AND MY VAGINA. AND LOTS OF AFTERBIRTH. SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK, IT WAS NASTY.
Me: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MOM
My mom is super awesome, I'm really glad I have her.
So far, my presents have consisted of a bag of pretzel M&Ms, several hugs, and a poster made by my friend Alix with a marijuana leaf and the words Blazin' It.
awwww yeaahh don't I look excited as can be?
happy birthday!! :)
ReplyDeletethaaannkksss :D
DeleteOH MAH GAWD HAPPPPPY BERTH DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletep.s. Don't forget your holiday project :)