Humorous bipolar disorder

So I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was, like, eleven. Nothing particularly awesome comes out of having this. It's as if your subconscious is perpetually on its period and there's nearly nothing you can do about except be all like:

you: Brain, please stop doing that. It's a bit inconvenient. I would very much appreciate it if you could, for lack of better word, get your god damn shit together.

brain: NO. I AM HORRIBLY HEARTBROKEN AND I DON'T WANT TO GET OUT OF BED. FUCK EVERYTHING.

you: Okay, for realsies now. I have to catch the bus in order to go to school and get a job and be successful in life.

brain: Nope. There are people out there. I hate people. I hate myself. I hate noodles. I hate the color of your bedsheets.

you: Dude, the worst thing that has happened to you in the past 24 hours is forget how to say the word "piano" so you substituted it with "oreo colored music box." Now, for fucks sake, I have shit to do.

brain: Fine. But you're going to be mopey all day, except for when you're talking to your crush. In that case, I'm going to make you so fucking hyperactive that you're going to spit on their face and step on their toes several times while speaking way too loud about shit that doesn't make sense.

One thing that really sucks about bipolar disorder is that is makes doing work really difficult. What happens can be described in one step-by-step list.

1. You are assigned work.

2. You get depressed because you don't want to do this work and you are obviously a failure at life.

3. You put off work.

4. You get horrifically hyperactive because THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND YOUR HEART IS BEATING SO FAST AND FUCK WORK BECAUSE BLAGRGRRGBRHBFWHBALHBRLHBGAELRHBGLAIHRBG;AHERBGIH

5. Stub your toe in bipolar-induced fit of hyperactivity.

6. Get depressed again and do work really slowly.

7. HYPERACTIVITY! BULLSHIT ALL THE WORK!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! SEA HORSES!

8. Turn in work. Crippling anxiety ensues.

9. Get a D- because hyperactivity is no state to complete work in.

I had a very recent experience with this work dilemma. In fact, I just did a post about it; the science fair. This entire process repeated itself maybe at least 650 times when completing that project. However, I did kinda complete it. I think I did okay.

If you've found yourself wondering who that asian kid above is, that is my friend boy, Steven. He also participated/failed in the science fair, just like I did! He's pretty funny so you should totally click that link to his blog which deserves more pageviews.

Anyway, bipolar disorder is not fun. Medication does not always help. It is a pain in the ass. Bye.